There is a Time for Every Season

Reading about history fascinates and frustrates me. I am always encouraged by the inspiring stories of those who have come before me. I love to read about the great scientists who worked so hard to prove their theories and share their ideas with the world, to learn about people who overcame great obstacles to succeed, and to come to know ordinary people who made a difference in this world. Yet, I am also frustrated at how often we, as people and societies, repeat the same mistakes over and over. We never seem to learn from the past. It seems that every generation thinks they are smarter and wiser than the previous generation and therefore immune from doing the “foolish” things of their ancestors. Yet, as I was reading about the cycles of history in The Fourth Turning, I couldn’t help wondering, do we really have to keep repeating these cycles? I have no doubt that these cycles occur, but do we really have to have a crisis every eighty to one hundred years?

Are these cycles merely a result of people turning away from God? When people are prosperous, they tend to forget God. They focus on their wealth and prosperity and God becomes less important. It is only with a crisis and the ensuing suffering that people are compelled to remember God and begin again to follow Him. Eventually the crisis and suffering passes; the people become prosperous again and God is once again forgotten. Then another crisis is necessary to bring the people back to God. This cycle repeats over and over.

So how do we overcome these cycles? Or should we? Are these cycles just part of our earthly experience? After all, there must be opposition in all things. Are these cycles just part of that opposition? Can we truly appreciate health if we never have sickness? Can we appreciate joy if we never have pain and sorrow? Can we appreciate prosperity without deprivation?

My inclination is of course to remove these cycles. Wouldn’t the world be a better place without suffering, without greed, and all of the other sins of man? I am not sure. Can I learn not to judge others without first experiencing the pain of having been wrongly judged by another? Can I really appreciate a good meal without first going hungry? Can I have compassion for another if I have never suffered?

I believe these cycles are necessary because they enable us to pass through all of the seasons of life. In each person’s lifetime, he/she will experience a high (spring), an awakening (summer), an unraveling (fall) and a crisis (winter). We may each experience them at different points in our maturity, but we will all pass through each season. Spring and summer are wonderful seasons. They are a time of renewal and rest, but it is the fall and winter that make us who we truly are. It is in the difficult times that we come to understand what is really important. It is through our struggles that we become strong.

I have never liked winter. I don’t like the cold, the naked trees, the barren landscape or the gray skies. But in moving to a place that really doesn’t have a “winter,” I realize that I do not have the same anticipation for “spring” that I used to have. Here it is always green, there are always flowers, and it is always sunny. The days just seem to blend together and suddenly it is hot. Without the cold, barren winter, I really don’t have as great an appreciation for the blossoming of spring.

Would my life really be complete without passing through a time of crisis? I do not think so. I cannot become the person I should be, without passing through all four seasons. I need a winter, a time of suffering and deprivation, to truly appreciate spring, a time of prosperity and blessings. I need a winter to truly understand my need for a Savior. I cannot possibly appreciate the sacrifice He made for me, until I pass through my own suffering and come face to face with my own weakness. I need a winter or time of crisis, so that I do not forget God.

You Are What You Read

I envy those who grew up reading the classics. What a great way to spend your childhood. To see the example of great men and women and the good choices they make. What an inspiration for a growing mind.

I am seeing more and more how the principles of leadership education are true. I see the importance of reading classics and spending most of my time in whole and healing books. I can see the fruits of the classics in the lives of my children. My oldest daughter reads voraciously, with the majority of her reading being in the classics. I watch her as she is beginning to make choices in her life and can see the influence these good books, especially our core books, are having on her. These books help her understand who she is and are helping her build a solid foundation on which to build her life. She is a great kid and is a positive influence to her friends. What a difference classics make.

I look at my own childhood and can see a great contrast. I too read many books, but hardly any classics. I spent my time in broken and bent books, and unfortunately that describes my childhood as well, broken and bent. As I look back, I can see how having a mentor would have made all the difference. If I had had someone to help me find the classics and who could have inspired me to read them, what a different life I could have had. What pain and sorrow I could have avoided. With the guidance of a mentor I could have learned what is right or good. I could have had the strength to choose the good when faced with temptations and trials. What a difference mentors make.

I can see the importance of having a core book, to have something in your life to use as a measuring rod. How can I decide if a book is a classic without a core book? What standard do I use? How do I decide if anything is right or wrong? Growing up without a core book, I know what it is like not to have one. Life without a core or foundation is awful. You have to learn everything by your own mistakes; a painful and miserable way to live. That is the benefit of the scriptures and classics. You can see the mistakes of others, and realize that you don’t have to make those mistakes in your own life. You can learn the “easy way.” What a difference a core book makes.

These were my thoughts as I was reading Les Misérables. I didn’t grow up reading classics, but I can read them now. I can look at the Bishop and try to follow his example: “the bishop’s day was full to the brim with good thoughts, good words, and good actions.”[1] I can look at Jean Val Jean and have the courage to make the right choice in the most difficult of circumstances. These classics and my Heavenly Father can be my mentors. I can be inspired by them to learn what is right and to then choose it. I don’t need to envy others; I can live it myself!


[1] Victor Hugo, Les Misérables. (New York: Signet Classics, 1987), p. 54

As for Me and My House

Laddie is one of my favorite books. I love the strong characters and the good values and principles that are expressed by the author. But, I think the thing that impressed me most in my reading this time, was the contrast between the Stantons and the Pryors.

Mr. Stanton was a loving father. He spent time with each of his children. He helped them study and shared his passions with them. He was a wonderful husband. He loved his wife immensely and treated her with the greatest respect. He was respected by his neighbors and went out of his way to help them. He focused on serving others and making his community better. He valued education and shared his knowledge with his family and the community. He faithfully attended and served in his church. He had strong faith in God and prayed often. He was a great leader and remained calm in the face of conflict and struggles. He focused on beauty and making the world a better place, especially his farm. Mr. Stanton was a great man.

Mr. Pryor was well educated. He had great knowledge, but kept himself at a distance from others. Prestige and having a high place in society were his goals. Having a “title” was more important than “being” a good citizen. He loved children and was kind to Little Sister, but he wasn’t a particularly loving father. He placed the opinions of others above his love for his family. He loved his wife, but did not respect her opinions or treat her well. He was angry and bitter and quick to loose his temper. He believed in God, but abandoned his faith when faced with trials and struggles. Instead of asking God for help, he blamed God and refused to forgive. Mr. Pryor had the potential to be a great man, but he was not.

Mrs. Stanton worked hard to provide for her family. She loved her children and spent many hours teaching them and guiding them. She was a loving wife and completely devoted to her husband. She had great faith in God and often prayed. She truly loved others and would open her home to anyone in need. She helped all of her neighbors, even those who were difficult to love. She shared the knowledge she had with others and encouraged them to improve themselves. She loved beauty and worked hard to make her home a loving place. She was brave and strong and willing to protect her home and family. She stood up for what was right and was a great example to others. Mrs. Stanton was a “good woman.”[1]

Mrs. Pryor was a kind woman. She loved her children. She believed in God, but did not have great faith. She loved her husband, but was not a helpmeet. She was very concerned with appearances. She was weak and full of fear. She did not have the courage to stand up for what was right. She let her emotions dominate her behavior. She hid from her problems and refused the help of others. Mrs. Pryor had grace, but was neither a “lady” nor a “good woman.”[2]

The greatest contrast I see in these families is faith. The Stantons had great faith. They relied on God and made Him a part of their daily lives. When they were faced with trials and tribulations, they prayed. They didn’t try to solve the problem by themselves; they turned to God. The Pryors had weak faith. God was not part of their lives. They did not pray; they blamed God instead.

What a difference God makes! God can take an ordinary man and make him great. He can take a lady and make her a good woman. With God all things are possible. I choose to have faith. As for me and my house, we will serve the lord. (Joshua 24:15)

[1]Gene Stratton Porter, Laddie: A True Blue Story (California: Norilana Books, 2007) p. 292
[2] ibid. p. 290, 292

Breaking Down the Walls - my thoughts on a few books I am reading

“I found myself growing more and more angry and I felt the anger begin to focus upon Danny Sanders, and suddenly it was not at all difficult for me to hate him.”[1] This is a great example of “being in the box”, or having a heart at war. In The Anatomy of Peace[2] the authors identify how we can have a heart at war or a heart at peace. To have a heart of peace one must act according to one’s own sense of what is right at a particular moment. When we fail to honor that sense we betray ourselves and create a heart at war. When our heart is at war, we begin to justify* our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. We stop seeing other individuals as people; instead we view them as objects. With this justification we build a “box” that actually becomes our “new world.” Our very being changes. This is what Rueven was doing. Danny was no longer a person; he was the enemy. Eventually Danny and Rueven become friends, but only after they see each other as a person.
In the Taming of the Shrew[3] it is easy to see that Katherine has a heart at war. She is angry and bitter and treats others horribly. This is part of being in the box. In the “world” she has created, she has justified her behavior. But I believe that her father, Baptista also has a heart at war. He doesn’t view Katherine as a person. She is simply the Shrew. When we are acting from “inside the box” we actually provoke in others the very comments and behaviors we are accusing them of. So in other words, because Baptista sees Katherine as a shrew, she acts like a shrew.
It is easy for me to see the “boxes” of others. As I look at the individuals in the stories I’ve read and the people around me, I can see where they have built these boxes. I can see how they are justifying their behavior. But in myself…it is much harder to see the boxes I have created. I imagine that this is because I am “inside” the box. I can’t see it because it is all around me. It IS my world. This is a scary thought, because in reality when I choose to betray myself, I am choosing evil. We have a choice in all things, to choose that which is right or good or to choose that which is evil. When I don’t follow the promptings or sense that I feel at a given moment, I am in reality choosing evil. When I look at the consequences of this self-betrayal…the anger, frustration, fear, envy, etc., I can see that it is truly evil.
As Steven Covey says, “Each of us tends to think we see things as they are, that we are objective. But this is not the case. We see the world, not as it is, but as we are…we in effect describe ourselves, our perceptions, our paradigms.”[4] When I see others as a “shrew”, I am in essence viewing them from my own paradigm, my “box”. I am actually provoking that response in them by my own actions. Covey goes on to say, “It becomes obvious that if we want to make relatively minor changes in our lives, we can perhaps appropriately focus on our attitudes and behaviors. But if we want to make significant, quantum change, we need to work on our basic paradigms.”[5] I must break down the walls, so that I can see clearly; I must change my paradigms to become the person I want to be. Give me that sledge hammer, I am ready!

*To justify= to straighten that which is crooked – to make something wrong appear right.

[1] Chaim Potak, The Chosen (Random House, 1967) p.24
[2] The Arbinger Institute, The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict (San Francisco, Berrett –Koehler Publishers, 2006)
[3] William Shakespeare, The Taming of the Shrew.
[4] Stephan R Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (New York: Free Press, 1989) p. 28
[5] Ibid p. 31

5 Pillar Testimonial

Are you thinking about joining a 5 pillar group, but aren't quite sure? Here is a great post by someone who completed the class and her thoughts about it...

I can't say enough good about the 5 Pillar tutorial. It is absolutely essential for a successful TJED home to have parent's who are immersed in "You not Them" and while there are many ways this could happen, it usually doesn't. :) The 5 Pillar Tutorial is put together at a practice scholar level (or apprentice for those who take it more seriously) so it isn't scary and intimidating so much as it is a fun way to dive into scholar phase with other like minded people. The support of others is an essential component to scholar phase. We need someone to discuss what we are thinking with. It's like having a little GWC pod in your home town. Oration skills are developed in group discussion as well as courage, diplomacy and humility. There is so much to be learned and practiced in the group discussion that cannot be obtained independently.Some of us are a little envious of the scholar classes our youth get to take and the 5 Pillar Tutorial is the chance to dive in ourselves. It is set up to meet on a weekly basis with assigned reading and sometimes lectures given by the mentor leading the class. The experience of reading great books, discussing them with other people and expressing thought through writing is extremely valuable. Most importantly, we need to experience this ourselves so that we know what it looks like. If we know what it looks like than we can start creating it in our homes with our children. This is the process they will be experiencing in scholar phase, but there's not reason it can't start long before that. I would like to see 5 Pillar used as an outreach tool in our communities. What better thing can we do to help our world on a community level than raise the educational level of other adults in our communities.? When there is a crisis I want to know that many people in my community, not just a few, know HOW to think, not just what to think. Reading, writing about and discussing classics is the way this process begins. Last of all, I must say that the experience of being the mentor who went to training and then lead the class has changed me as a person forever. I went into it with a great desire to pursue my own education and to serve my community. I came out of it a leader. During training last summer I recall catching a vision of what this experience was going to do for me as a person and it was so awesome! Now I can look back after my first year and take for granted that personal growth. I am a different person, now, a better person. Anyone with the opportunity to lead this class should know that it is absolutely worth every minute of it. Do it! Catch the vision of educational change in your personal life, your home and your community.

Anna Gilmore

Characteristics of a great leader

I decided to do a study of leadership in the scriptures. I wanted to know what were the characteristics of a great leader. Afterall, if I am trying to give my children a "leadership" education, I need to set the example; I need to be a great leader, if I want my children to be great leaders. Here are the characteristics I identified in the great leaders of God's people...

A leader:

• Fears God and follows His counsel
• Is chosen by God before the foundation of the world
• Seeks wisdom and understanding
• Is humble and faithful
• Treats everyone fairly and justly (no respecter of persons)
• Is known by the people
• Keeps passions in-line with the purpose
• Speaks carefully
• Forsakes ALL evil
• Cleaves unto all good
• Keeps the commandments
• Encourages and teaches others to choose what is right
• Makes it easier for others to follow God
• Serves others - (to serve = voluntarily submit to another)
• Does not hide from or avoid responsibility
• Knows the people he/she leads - rejoices with them, suffers with them and loves them
• Fasts and prays often
• Teaches others to be leaders
• Never gives up

That is quite a list! How can I gain all of these traits? On first glance it seems overwhelming. But as I studied the list, I realized that all of these traits are gained by doing one thing: following Christ. He exemplified all of these characteristics. As I strive to become more like Him, to follow His example, I will become the leader I desire to be. "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you."

Five Pillar Reading List

Semester One

A Thomas Jefferson Education - Oliver DeMille
Little Britches - Ralph Moody
The Chosen - Chaim Potok
Taming of the Shrew - William Shakespeare
The 7 Keys of Great Teaching (CD) - Oliver DeMille
Jane Eyre - Jane Austen
Walking Drum - Louis L'Amour
Laddie - Gene Stratton-Porter

Semester Two

Les Miserables - Victor Hugo
7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Stephan Covey
What is Seen and What is Not Seen – Frederic Bastiat (In Essay on Political Economy)
The Fourth Turning - William Strauss
2 plays by Shakespeare (TBA)
Understanding the Times - David A Noebel
Alas Babylon - Pat Frank

Semester Three

The Seven Lesson School Teacher – John Taylor Gatto
How Children Learn – John Holt
A Market Based Education: A New Model for Schools - Kathleen Harward
The New Commonwealth School – Aneladee Milne
The One Minute Teacher - Spencer Johnson
Multiple Intelligences - Howard Gardner
Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
Leadership Education - Oliver DeMille
The Virginian - Owen Wister
Spiritual Lives of Great Composers - Patrick Kavanaugh

Semester Four

The Abolition of Man - C. S. Lewis
Walden - Henry David Thoreau
3 Plays by Shakespeare (TBA)
Uncle Tom’s Cabin - Harriet Beecher Stowe
Great Expectations - Charles Dickens